On a personal note we sadly were not able to stay at the place we thought would be a home for us and our project so then ensued a horribly stressful time of trying to find somewhere new to live as well as beginning again the search for land. Searching for land without a stable base felt too panicked so we decided to focus on somewhere to stay for a while to ground ourselves for a bit. The rental market has become insane and for anyone looking to rent a temporary home my heart goes out to you, if you have children or in our case furry children you seem to be way down the list, a serious issue for so many and being unable to find a home is an awful feeling, even finding a pitch for the caravan is difficult over the winter with any year round sites being full. Finally though through a series of amazing connections and so much kindness, we have found somewhere to live until mid May and made the leap from Wales to Cornwall in a short space of time. Phew!

I do know that we are not alone, so many have been messaging to say they are struggling, life seems to be falling apart at the seams. Loss of loved ones, homes, friendships, jobs, relationships, there still seems to be no certainty or stability left. Everything continues to feel unstable with nothing solid for us to cling onto.

One of the biggest issues I have noticed is this rapid changing in friendships and relationships, I am seeing this everywhere. People in our lives, some of them for years, suddenly seem to be on different wavelengths, differing thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Although it can feel so frustrating when those we know seem changed or our opinions are wide apart it does not have to mean the end of those friendships. We can still love one another, despite differences and this I feel is really important. We don’t have to agree on everything in order to love. For some this is not proving to be that much of a challenge and if you are able to laugh at your differences, hug, talk and joke about the things you do have in common and carry on then that is just perfect. However for some this is not happening and there may have been dreadful fallings out with harsh words, judgement and uncomfortable feelings. If this is happening for you then please do not feel alone, it is happening the world over. For some it is the end of those relationships, sad as that may be sometimes we need to walk away from people for the sake of our own well being. One of the big themes for these times is about standing in our own power and if people in our life cause us to feel disempowered, lacking in confidence or lesser in some way then it can be a sign it is time to walk away, sometimes acknowledging that it is simply not working and letting go is the only way to move forward.

It is not just friendships and relationships of course that are shifting, this applies to any situation or relationship in life including working and living environments. These changing energies are causing huge shake ups in every part of life, political, medical, religious institutions, financial institutions, royalty, it seems everywhere we look nothing is what it seemed to be and this can seem frightening which can then induce anger in many. Anger is often hiding the emotion of fear as well as other emotions, grief, guilt, lack of love. There can be fear of change, of things not being stable, of being scared for our future, for the future of ourselves and our loved ones, grief at the loss of the way things were, at feeling lost, guilt at making the wrong choices and feelings of self loathing. All of these emotions can cause the heart to close so that no matter how kind or loving you try to be, that love simply cannot be received by that person. So when you are faced with someone who gets angry or who seems to be hurtful in some way and that seems to be directed at you, try to have a peep under the surface, it may be that they are fearful and need reassurance and love – not a punch up or a war of words. Again, sometimes that love cannot be received so the only option may be to walk away, walking away does not mean you are not loving, it means you are looking after your self. You can still send loving energy from a distance, you can still sprinkle little seeds of love and hope they grow but do that when you have made sure that you are OK, it is not selfish to look after yourself, we can never fully help others if we are not OK within ourselves – actually we can, but we end up depleted and on the floor, not a good place to be and not what these new light filled energies are about.

In a way it feels as though we are all pieces of snow in one of those snow globes – you know, the ones we got given to us by Granny when she went on holiday, a twee little water filled globe with an idyllic beach or village in it, you shake it up and the little pieces of snow fly and twirl around before finally coming back down to settle at the bottom. In this huge snow globe we are all in though the pieces feel like they may be about to land when a giant hand comes down and shakes it up again and off we all are once more, flying about with nothing certain to cling onto. On a worldly scale this snow globe shake up is essential and bringing change, equality, freedom and love on a global scale, clearing out the old outdated energies to make way for the new. On a personal level it is akin to clearing out our cupboards – all those things we tuck away thinking we might wear again one day, or might lose enough weight to get back into, or maybe that will come in handy for some occasion or the other. Clear it all out, do not keep hold of anything that no longer fits, is no longer useful or feels good, only keep the things in your life that make your heart sing. Look at every situation and ask yourself how it makes your heart feel? Happy? Anxious? Warm? Scared? Peaceful? Clearing out the old and outdated, those people or situations that no longer make you feel good creates space for the new to come in, try not to cling on to the things that take up space but are no longer of love.

Overall, the bigger picture in this mass shake up is that all the bits of snow will land precisely where they are meant to depending on our intention for this beautiful new earth we are creating. New connections, new friendships, new structures and new ways of living are all become much more real. Ask yourself, what is it that you are focused on? The chaos that you can see or the future that you want to create?

When we finally settle on the ground the landscape looks completely different, all the bits of snow that were next to us previously may be elsewhere, nothing looks the same and we need to take time to adjust to this new dynamic. Settle we will, but when we do that we will be in a new and more suitable environment, we will be drawn to and drawing to us those who are like minded. We will be stronger, lighter, much more aware of our own resilience, more able to discern what is good for us and what no longer serves us. We will be free to choose how we want to live our lives and who we wish to do that with. In the meantime, keep hold of yourself, keep checking in with your own heart and feelings, keep chucking out those trousers that are too tight. Does this situation feel good? No? Then walk away. Yes? Then follow that. Focus on the things that bring joy to yourself and others, focus on this new world you wish to inhabit. Let your heart be your guide to your future. You decide, you choose, you are the guide to your own path and future. In the meantime, hug – a person, a dog, a cat, a tree – put your feet on the grass, envisage the world how you wish it to be, hold on to your hat and let it snow.

On a personal level I have been processing the grief of losing my Mum and also a move of country, letting go of our home and then a further two moves of location. I used to be good at moving, it is something I have done on a fairly regular basis for most of my life but the last few times have not felt so easy, however at last I am somewhere I feel at peace. We are very hopeful this will be our forever home and where we can begin our Earthkin project. We are living in our caravan with our dogs in beautiful scenery with wonderful people, amazing animals, wildlife and nature right on our doorstep, heaven. All these experiences have taught me a lot about what we believe to be solid within our lives, a place to call home, a person who we believe will always be there, somewhere solid to put down roots, all these things we often take for granted but on a personal level and throughout the world these roots we assumed would keep us stable are being uprooted and leaving a feeling of lack of foundation and as though there is nothing secure to hold onto, everything is changing. It can leave us feeling very wobbly and insecure. These feelings are also being reflected by the world around us.

The world is in vast change with fear, discord and anger being at the surface of so many areas of life. Every where we look there seems to be sadness, hopelessness and division with close friends, family members and communities divided in their beliefs and feelings. Turning on the TV or reading a newspaper merely compounds this with fear screaming out from every headline. Social media is not much better with opinions being vehemently expressed, bullying and judgement from what may seem the unlikeliest of places, the gentlest of souls. Nothing feels the same, nothing feels “normal”, everything is shifting and changing with no real knowing of where all this chaos may lead. Our roots have been ripped from what was “normal” and stable and many of us are being left without the foundations that we knew, the certainty of our beliefs and the places and people familiar to us, so many of these areas of our lives are shifting and changing and this can leave us feeling ungrounded, unsafe and at times alone.

Some of this change is through natural circumstance, this beautiful world is an ever shifting, evolving and living being. But much of this change is manmade. We at times feel we are at the whim of these enforced manmade decisions, much as nature is, and we can feel powerless to stop the change sweeping through the world. However, underneath the surface of this seeming chaos I have found there is a quiet calm and certainty and it is available to every one of us.

Nature is very good at creating order from chaos. Humans arrive and rips out trees, plants, earth and replace with concrete. This of course creates havoc for nature with species unable to live in this alien new climate with a lack of food and habitat. However, over time nature begins to creep back in, grass seed carried on the wind or through the droppings of birds begins to sprout in the most unlikely places, dandelion -that tough and essential plant – finds a way to grow through a space seemingly devoid of anything natural. As the plants begin to return so to do the insects and other wildlife, the nature of connection and inter dependence once again finds a balance and the cycle begins once more. Perhaps we can, at this time, look to nature to help us remain stable during the chaos?

Nature always has the need for survival at it’s heart but also the need for connection, so many species – plant and animal – rely on another for help and assistance in their surival. This is such a demonstration to me of the essential need for that connection, that knowing that we are not alone. But when our roots feel as though they too have been ripped out, how do we find once again a firm foundation and connection?

If you step outside, connect with the earth beneath your feet, see and feel roots growing from your body into the earth this can help hugely in these times, just giving yourself something tangible to hang onto when all around is constantly shifting. But there is even more of a strength and solidity that can help bring balance during the chaos. It is the roots that are inside of each and every one of us. It is our very essence, our soul, our spirit, our light, our source, our god connection, whatever you wish to describe it as, it is there. It is a something that connects every being on this earth at this time. If we focus on this above all else, focus on increasing that light – even if it seems only a faint flicker at first, we can draw strength from this. We can begin to see that light in others, no matter what their mouth may be saying, look for the light within, focus on your own light and feel that reaching out and connecting with others, feel the light within them connecting with you. See it as a candle flame flickering within you, see it magnify and burn bright and strong. Now, more than ever, we must remember what and who we are, we are that source, that essence, we all are and no matter what division may be playing out in front of us, this does not need to be our focus, fear and anger does not need to be our focus. If we can remain focused on happiness, laughter, joy and love which is the true essence of our nature, we can stay stronger and more balanced, the more strong and balanced that we feel the more we can share this strength and love with others. Our foundations are always there, we carry them inside us, do not let anything divert you from this truth, we are love.

Who makes these adverts? At certain times of the month I would really like to meet them and have a conversation. I cannot believe I am the only woman in the world that has trouble standing on her own two feet whilst in that two week window (it’s actually tricky for me at any time of the month to not fall over fresh air) let alone balancing on roller skates or a bicycle in those ever present teeny tiny white shorts. I am naturally a clumsy person, it could be because I am ungrounded, not present, whatever, or it could just be that I am my mothers daughter and clumsiness is genetic so therefore not my fault. Whatever the cause it is there and when in that two week window, magnified hugely.

A few years ago my partner bought himself a very expensive laptop, he needs it for his work so it is a pretty essential piece of equipment. Imagine his surprise when I not only handed him a cup of tea over the top of his laptop but then my hand with an apparent will of its own tipped the other way round pouring the entire contents of the mug over his shiny new laptop. I can’t help it, some involuntary twitch thing happens and I hurl cups or plates across the room, my arm or hand just does its own thing. My legs and feet are not much more helpful, I have tripped over nothing and ended up trampling every new seedling we had just planted in the veg patch. I have kicked bowls across the kitchen floor smashing things that I treasure, it just happens. This mornings event has inspired me to write about this. I woke up and whilst still in a very dozy state realised I was leaking and the towel I always put underneath me the first few days was wrapped around the dog. I jumped out of bed at a funny angle and crash-landed into the bedside table which wobbled vigorously knocking over the bedside lamp which flipped upside down and switched itself on. I am then blinded by the spotlight in my eyes whilst trying to shuffle out the room and disentangle the towel from the reluctant dog to try to prevent making a mess on the way to the bathroom. My partner opened one eye and just looked at me, smiled and closed his eyes again. The good thing now is that he is no longer astounded at the amazing things I can achieve whilst I have my period, he is no longer shocked at the devastation that can be caused by a simple act like making a cup of tea or trying to feed the chickens (I have managed to get myself tangled in the gate before and fallen into the chicken enclosure frightening the life out of everybody). We just work round it ie I never go near his computer with any sort of liquid or heavy object in my hands.

I have tried various therapies and supplements but nothing really helped for very long before my body went back into the loop of the same sort of pattern. However, I am currently on month two of taking a herbal mix made for me by a very wonderful and loving herbalist. I am hopeful that the pain seems to be gradually lessening and that the emotional side of things is slowly changing and coming back into some sort of normal balance, early days but the changes are showing. However, I now understand that there are some things that are just your nature and perhaps I have to accept that my underlying nature is a clumsy one and no amount of herbs or treatments is going to change that. I am OK with this, I can accept this is my true nature and I can laugh with myself, at myself and generally be OK with it. If you suffer in similar ways then do not feel alone as you certainly aren’t, get help with pain, there is always answers and you truly do not have to cope with that each month, the emotional side of things can be helped too. Do what you can to make changes to make life easier for yourself but above all, accept yourself in all your quirky, wonky, non-white short wearing or falling off roller skate ways.

To the advertisers, try as you might, you are never going to convince me about the miraculous benefits of your sanitary products, no amount of persuasion is going to tempt me into those tiny white shorts. However, if you ever decide to get real in your advertising and want a realistic woman wearing ten year old saggy clothing falling over fresh air and throwing cups of tea around the room, then I am your girl.

The tree could have laid there feeling sorry for itself and thought “Typical, just as I am getting going, a storm has knocked me down. I will just lay here and give up” By the looks of things though, the tree thought otherwise and decided to take a good look at itself in the new position it is in, and chose to adapt. It now has two trunks growing out of the original trunk. They have grown strong and tall and actually, the tree now has a much more stable and solid base than it originally started out with. The base and original trunk, now lying along the ground are covered in beautiful soft moss and bright green sprouting ferns, it has become a haven for these plants and the wildlife that is sustained by them as well as giving rise to not just one, but two new trunks. How incredible is this?!

The tree made a choice. It may not have sat there and had an in depth discussion with itself about the pros and cons of starting over in it’s new circumstance but perhaps this aided in it’s decision and ability to adapt and carry on? Can we apply this message from the tree to our own lives? Maybe if our minds did not come into things so much we would go with our intuition and instinct when a storm knocks us down and choose to look at the damage, fix what we can and adapt ourselves.

There will always be storms in life. We may have started with our roots in not the most ideal circumstances. We may have had weak foundations. But does that mean that when the storm comes and knocks us over we should just give up? No. Unless we are dead, we have a choice. We can adapt and change and learn to live and grow in a different direction from the one we started with, who knows, like the tree it may even mean that we can be stronger in our foundations, support others and grow within ourselves more then we had ever imagined.

So what are the options? Well, I suppose we could disconnect from the TV and internet, switch off mobile and land line phones and live like a hermit. That is Option number 1 and although quite tempting, probably not the most ideal when it means that not only are we disconnected from the bad stuff but we are also cutting off connection to the good and positive information that we could be receiving.  There IS lots of positive and lovely information being shared and I for one do not want to miss out on those elements in order to keep out the other. So, on to Option 2 –

Join in? Get involved in the arguments and the pointless going round in circles seeing who can shout the loudest? Immerse yourself in signing and sharing petitions with horrific images attached to them? Get angry, become a keyboard warrior? Watch every available bit of news, try and work out who is telling the truth when every outlet for news seems to come from a slightly different angle and become immersed in fear and then get angry again as it is a good cover up for the fear? I am giggling as I write this as I cannot even think of anything else to add in to this option without laughing at myself. Option 2 is not an option for me.

So Option 3 then. Balance.
I WANT to see the positive things, I WANT to laugh at videos of goats doing yoga and pictures of mice sitting in flowers, I want to know what positive things my friends and co-workers are doing and how little by little, all these amazing people are out there changing the world bit by bit in their own unique way. I WANT to sign petitions that are promoting and asking for positive change (I don’t want to sign the ones that are promoting negative action to counteract negative action, two negatives do not make a positive!) I WANT to be connected to that. So I have a choice and my choice is to be in balance and this is how I am trying to do it.

Before I even switch on my computer I am now taking a few drops of an essence I made which I have called “Shields Up” a bit like a pre-emptive rescue remedy to help protect my energy.  I am then imagining a mirror held between myself and the computer and anything I do not want to take in is bouncing off and back to where it came from. If I see something heartbreaking then I do not focus on it for any longer than it takes for me to simply send love to that animal, that person, that country, that situation. I am not denying that these things are happening, I am not intending to live in la la land, of course not. I am simply choosing what I take on board and into my energy field. For every horrifying picture of an animal, I try to see it happy, healthy and free and send it love. For every person who is living in lack I try to see them healthy, abundant, empowered and send them love. For every country suffering war or famine I try to visualise it fertile, full of happiness, joy and growth, and send it love. For every argument I see I just stop reading and send love.

I know there are some who may argue with my choice, but we all have to find something that works for us. I know that if I am surrounded by anger and fear then I cannot be myself and I cannot then be in a strong energetic state to help others, so for me that is a no win situation.  Being in a strong and empowered state is vital if we want to make positive changes in this world and if we are knocked sideways by the negative stuff then how can we be of assistance to anyone? I believe very firmly in the power of visualisation, the power of positive thinking and if thoughts and beliefs can change the way things are in the world then perhaps if we all focused solely on the good, sent love to the bad and then moved on to focus again on the positive then the world would begin to lift, little by little, bit by bit, thought by thought.

I am interested to know how you deal with these issues so do feel free to comment.

Over a long period of time I have been sent some interesting people. Some people arrive in my life and appear to have lovely qualities. However, I ignore that little warning in my gut telling me there is something not so good beneath the surface and just focus on the “nice” aspects of them. Do I really need to focus any attention on the slightly odd and possibly psychopathic parts? No of course not! I shall be a “good” spiritual person and embrace them into my life warts and all! I shall ignore all shouting and screaming sounds from my gut instinct and override that message in my insane desire to be “nice”, to be liked, to be loved… Then, when those gut feelings turn out to be the thing I should have listened to in the first place I am all hurt and shocked, all upset and bewildered. I think I may have had a little growing up phase this year…. better late than never.

The reason I am writing about this is because I do know that I am not alone in this and therefore I do not feel quite as silly as I did. I have had lengthy conversations with others in my life who also seem to turn a blind eye to the negative and sometimes hurtful behaviour of others. We do it because we understand why someone behaves in the way they do, we empathise, we feel for them, we want to be kind. But does that really mean we should let these things have a negative impact on us? Does accepting someone mean that we have to allow them to manipulate and bulldoze their way through our lives? NO.

When I have gone through a learning experience then I feel it important to share because somewhere, someone may just read this and start to wake up to the fact that they do not have to put up with any more bullshit behaviour in their life. They do not have to put up with being bullied or misled or lied to or just pushed into doing things they do not want to do. This is not a message to say that you or I are victims, we are not. We put ourselves in these situations, largely due to the fact that we want to be liked, we do not want to say “No” to someone for fear they may not like us, good heavens they may even get cross with us and then what would we do?! That would mean a confrontation of some sort, eek! No, no, I shall scuttle back into my corner and continue to behave in this way and allow others negative behaviour to influence me… I also will live in the desperate hope that the person in question may well change and become completely different, people do change…, it could happen… if I wait long enough they may change and then I will not have to deal with this… Oh dear, even writing this I realise more strongly how mad it all sounds and really I should have seen this a long time ago. If I am honest I think I did see it, I knew I was the one at fault allowing these things to happen but I just kept going through the same pattern, over and over, blah blah blah, see, told you I was a slow learner!

This is not really about being a slow learner though, more about avoidance. It is about self worth, valuing yourself and having strong boundaries. For me, herein lies the lesson and it was of course, nature that finally got the message through to me! Over recent months I have once again been dealing with a person who I so wanted to believe in and I once again pushed away my gut instinct and then it all went pear shaped! I was reeling from this and feeling incredibly upset and all woe is me, poor me, why is it happening again when suddenly, the neighbour’s dogs came into our garden and killed Mrs Magoo. She was our lovely old chicken who we have had for several years, she was ancient when we got her and has never laid an egg, a total free loader but we adored her. I was gutted. I cried buckets and then declared “That’s it, I want to move, I don’t feel safe here anymore, let’s leave”. Standard response from me when I have to have a confrontation or remove someone from my life, much easier to just run away… But of course I cannot KEEP doing that, I cannot keep moving when things get difficult. My partner hit the nail on the head, he just said, “Let’s put a proper fence up and reinforce our boundaries”. And there it was, the whole reason for all of this became clear to me… Boundaries. I did not have any, I just had an open door policy to any waif or stray who I felt compassion for. Sadly, I have had to face the fact that sometimes there are people in life that have bad parts to them that we should not ignore. If we ignore the bad parts, life will just keep repeating that pattern until we get the message.

So, I leave you with what I hope is a supportive message for any of you who struggle with these issues. You are not alone. Just because you see the light in someone, does not mean you should ignore the darkness. You cannot change people, we can only do that for ourselves and desperately hoping it will happen does not work. Strengthen your boundaries. Say NO if something feels wrong. Look after yourself, you will not feel any better about yourself by holding onto and allowing into your life someone who makes you feel bad, that is not the way. Tolerate others as they are, yes, but do not allow them into your life if your gut tells you otherwise – listen to your own instincts, if something feels wrong then it probably is, even if you do not know why, listen to it!!

Thank you Mrs Magoo you darling chicken, I am sorry it took such a strong kick up the bottom for me to get the message but I am forever grateful to you, I hope you are running around freely in the giant chicken coop in the sky xxx

Maybe there is someone you care for who is in a relationship which looks and feels destructive and unhealthy yet they cannot seem to take steps to change it. Or perhaps someone you love is sick but they are not wanting to make changes to help themselves . Or maybe your partner or family member seems set on a path which is causing them great difficulty. No amount of conversations or helpful support and suggestion seems to make any difference, you may even be pushed out of their life, they seem determined to carry on with what you may consider to be unhelpful and unhealthy behaviour, physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Many of us, myself included, want to step in and offer assistance in some way, that is completely natural to want to do. We want to fix things for those we care about but sometimes that support is pushed away. Witnessing a friend or family member in emotional pain causes us to feel pain too, so the urge to try to stop that pain can be overwhelming. You may feel so helpless, frustrated and full of grief.

Above all, in whatever situation you may be encountering, we want our loved ones, friends, family, partners, etc to be OK! We want them to heed our advice, to find a way through their problems and to sort things out. We want them to be happy and when we see them unhappy but not changing things we can become immersed in pain and misery ourselves, we can become too embroiled in emotionally charged situations and end up sick ourselves, either emotionally or physically or sometimes both!

If this is sounding bells for you then stop for a moment and consider the questions. Is this person not ready or willing or indeed able to make changes, that from the outside looking in seem obvious? What if it is their path to be going through these difficulties? What if they are learning a valuable lesson or perhaps teaching one, or a bit of both? Well, then comes one of the hardest things of all for a caring person to decide to do – Nothing. No thing. Zilch. Bugger all – other than love.

We have to accept that there is nothing we can do that will, on the surface, make any difference. That all our well meant advice, support, guidance, words of wisdom, bottles of wine, tea, cake, sympathy and love may not do anything at all.

Writing or reading these words seems so simple, putting “doing nothing” into practice is not quite so easy! When your natural instinct is to protect then switching it off is virtually impossible. Do I really just have to stand here and watch someone I love heading for a fall? Yes, put simply, yes, sometimes that is exactly what you have to do and it is perhaps one of the toughest things we can experience. But, there is a big consolation in all this…

Doing nothing CAN actually be doing something. Sometimes, the biggest gift you can give is to allow. Allow others the space to follow the path they have chosen. Allowing someone to fall without catching them CAN be a kindness, not a disservice. That person probably needs to go through the process of learning for themselves, of allowing their intuition to guide them to the right choices. If we keep stepping in to save them then how will they come to their own conclusions? Loving someone to such a degree that you are prepared to step back and allow them the space to do whatever it is they feel they need to can be enough. It seems ironic that the art of doing nothing should be so difficult but if, like me, you find it hard to do nothing then take heart!

To love someone who is suffering and to allow them to continue suffering if that is what they choose is an incredibly hard thing to do but just being there offering silent support and love sometimes has to be enough. Every situation is different and we have to try to have a logical head at times, rather than a sorrowful heart. Some may choose to walk away completely if they find a situation too painful to watch and that of course is for you to decide, detaching yourself from the outcome of another’s decisions for some is the only way. There is no judgement, you have to do what you feel is best for you in these situations and if that means taking time away from things to not have to be faced with that pain then that is what you must do. If you are able to stay in that person’s life but remain slightly detached then that is wonderful but do not be harsh on yourself if you cannot do that. Remember, the love you feel for someone will not go away, you are just allowing them the space they need, and this may be the most perfect gift you could ever give, loving someone enough to allow them their own choices, even if you disagree.

This is intended for anyone witnessing a loved one suffer and to reach out and to hug YOU and to let you know that sometimes, not fixing things is the right thing to do.

When I work, I tune into the energy of the person who has asked for help and I ask for help from my guides, their guides, any being of light that wishes to assist. As a collective, I call these amazing energies “them upstairs”, hey it works for me and they know who I am talking about! I always find it interesting that when I have a run of clients that have particular difficulties in a specific area, it is usually a nudge at me that this is something I have either just dealt with or I am about to have to deal with…. I confess here that more than once I have suggested to “them upstairs” that “Surely I do not have to go through this, I mean if you want me here helping others, shouldn’t I bypass all this bit? Hmm? Shouldn’t I just be living in a state of blissful peace and happiness within me before I can guide others to find the same? Hmm?” “No”, is generally the resounding answer, you learn, help, move on, learn, help, move on. Sometimes I am very accepting of this, but only if it is after the event. If I am going through the healing process myself or fall head first into it at the time then I can be incredibly stubborn and not accepting at all – I am a Taurus girl after all. Stamping feet and saying adult things like “It’s not fair” or “I am so bored with this one” is not unusual in this house….

I am a great believer in positive thinking and seeing things from a higher perspective, looking down on a situation from high up is another method that “them upstairs” show to help people to see what the whole situation looks like from above, to make it easier to understand. This I am pretty comfortable with and from a fairly young age I managed to do this. Things happen for a higher reason, for our highest good and for the highest good of others, because we are learning something, or teaching something, or a bit of both. For our evolution, NONE of these traumatic events in life happen for no reason, they all have a purpose. So from the spiritual angle it is fairly simple to accept, to love, to understand and even if you cannot understand, to acknowledge that one day you may find out the reason and even if you don’t, it all adds into the mix and helps you on that evolutionary spiritual path.

Recently, I have had quite a few clients who seem to be having struggles with similar issues. The guidance coming through for them is “accept your humanness (yes, it is a real word, I looked it up!) if you want to move forward, you have to accept yourself, warts and all, and your humanness is a big wart at times to deal with”! Being human means feeling such a wide range of emotions, the good ones of course but also the bad ones, the ones that make you fall to your knees in pain and give you the belief you will never be able to feel better, that cause you to feel as though your blood is boiling, or that your head may explode. Any of these sound familiar? This does not just apply to us, it applies also to those we love who are going through traumatic times, it is sometimes a great comfort to be told everything happens for a reason but for someone who is grieving, hurting or angry it may be a trigger for them to punch you on the nose….

Merrily working my way through these sessions it had not occurred to me that helping others with these issues was also a roundabout way of “them upstairs” to get me to practice what I am preaching… Suddenly, from out of nowhere, depression hit, hard, bang, woomf, ouch. I could pin it on a few things but could not shift it, as a friend describes it, I felt lower than a snakes bum. I grumped, huffed, puffed, lit jossticks, meditated, played soothing music, tried to reason with myself, moaned to a long suffering friend, asked for healing, asked for help, but nothing seemed to change. Until I got cross…. I got cross and impatient at feeling like that, suddenly, the being cross and impatience with myself and with “them upstairs” became being cross with others, feeling anger and injustice at the events in my life, from way back. I have written a blog before about releasing anger, I have used all of those techniques myself, but this was so hidden I did not even know it was there, it kept masquerading as depression. So, I let rip. I had a big shout, said some truly dreadful words, basically I turned into a teenager having a complete hissy fit, threw all my toys out the pram and then I collapsed on the sofa and had a massive cry. Depression feeling gone. Job done! What I had forgotten in all my urge to be pure and lovely and spiritual and kind hearted and forgiving and blah blah blah, was that I too am human, I have human emotions and they were going to come out regardless of how much spiritual practicing over the top of them I did. They must come out, we cannot leave them inside festering. What keeps them pushed in is EGO, feeling the need to be on a higher plane, have a higher way of looking things, that we need to somehow override our human side. You can do that, we can all do it, but we also have to remember to always “be you” and “you” are a human, you may be a spiritual being having a human experience but sometimes you need to turn that on its head and remind yourself, I am a human being too, at this moment, I am that, and I feel those emotions, regardless of them being “real” or not, they are there. There is nothing wrong with accepting your humanness and also accepting the humanness of others, let people clear these emotions, let them do what they need to, be supportive, say loving words but let them release what they need to and allow yourself to release it too. Be real, be you, warts and all, accept your dark and light side, laugh at your humanness, cry, stamp your feet, rage at a pillow, accept you sometimes want to stuff your face with chocolate or wine, none of it lasts, you can move on from that, but to deny it is to deny your humanity. Let it out, let it come into balance with your spiritual side. Be your pure self, warts and all.

I shall leave you with one of my favourite quotes. “Blessed are those of us who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never fail to be amused”.

However…. As much as we are beings of nature and part of the natural process, the lives that we live generally are not given the opportunity to fit into the patterns and rhythms of nature. We force ourselves to work when it is dark, to not sleep until we have finished what we are doing, to keep ourselves alert and awake through artificial means. We do not rest, hibernate and prepare the ground for these new ideas. So what we can then find is that come the spring time, the new is trying to arrive but our physical and emotional body is still too tired, not refreshed or recuperated in the way that it should be, it has not had the opportunity to keep in step with nature and begins to struggle to keep up. Compare yourself, just for a moment, to a tree. During the winter months the tree looks completely dormant, to some it may even look dead, it stays apparently still. We saw the process of it clearing the old in the autumn but now, we do not see the regeneration and recharging going on underneath. We only understand this has happened when the tree once more springs to life with new buds and shoots pushing out to make way for new branches and bright shiny new leaves and fruit.

So, how do we bring the balance back in to our lives that nature would bring had we allowed ourselves to stay in the pattern of the seasons? I have found that the vibration of nature can be bought to us in other ways whenever we need it. We can spend as much time in nature as possible, soaking up the energy of that moment, allowing it to fill us, connect us back in to the earth and the rhythm that should be natural to us. If you have heard of Earthing then you will understand the benefits of simply putting bare feet onto the earth (yes, chilly at times but absolutely worth it for the benefits!) If that is not possible as frequently as needed, then we may find a little helping hand in the way of essences. Essences can work by bringing in the energy vibration that we are in need of to help us along the way, whatever that may be at the time. As we move fully into spring and feel the urge to become more energetic, the greater part of us naturally wants to mimic the tree and spring back into life, the part that has had to remain disconnected from nature can benefit by being bought back into alignment using the vibration of that time, to reap the benefits that nature garnered during her winter slumber. I use the vibration of the seasons to collect this energy, bottle it and then take that when needed. It brings the body and mind back into balance with the “now” and allows a moving forward fully into the amazing energy that is spring, full of renewed vigour, creativity and passion for life!

I will be talking about this very subject as a guest speaker on a Spring Equinox Cleanse and Restore online retreat welcome call. You can find out more about this by following the link here – www.eventbrite.co.uk/spring-equinox-natural-cleanse-restore-online-retreat

I am organising some dates for essence workshops to help you to make your own vibrational essences, do let me know if you are interested in these and I will keep you posted. For information on essences you can also visit Nature Drops